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There was a sheriff looking for a new deputy, and a Redneck went in to
apply for the job. "OK," said the sheriff, "What is 1+1?" The redneck
thought for a minute, and finally said, "11."The sheriff asked, "What two
days of the week start with the letter T?" The redneck said, "That's easy,
Today and Tomorrow." The sheriff said, "Now the last question, who killed
Abraham Lincoln?" The redneck thought really hard, and at last said, "I
don't know." The sheriff smiled and said, "Well, why don't you go home and
work on that." So the redneck went home and his wife asked him how it went.
The redneck replied, "Great! He already put me on a murder case!"
A couple had been married for 25 years and were celebrating their 60th
birthdays, which fell on the same day. During the celebration a fairy
appeared and said that because they had been such a loving couple for all 25
years, she would give them one wish each. The wife wanted to travel around
the world. The fairy waved her hand, and Boom! She had the tickets in her
hand. Next, it was the husband's turn. He paused for a moment, then said
shyly, "Well, I'd like to have a woman 30 years younger than me." The fairy
picked up her wand, and Boom!  He was ninety.
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